It's getting tiring, with feelings of loneliness intensifying every day. It doesn't help when the little voice inside my head always answers, "Because there's nothing to love."
Everyone leaves. Even though I've just started to feel a tingle of happiness, it's stripped away. Why is the nature of everything in this life so temporal? Moreover, how in the world do people make it thru so many years of this recurring shit?
"But why did they teach him those things? Why 'Attention'? Why 'Here and now'?"
"Well... That's what you always forget, isn't it? I mean, you forget to pay attention to what's happening. And that's the same as not being here and now."
On good days, I don't remember it much. But on days like these, something so tiny, almost remote, can trigger a feeling, a tug on the heart strings, and — memories come gushing back and it hurts because we can't go back anymore. It hurts because I made one mistake that I have no courage to amend. It hurts to even think about how I must look through your eyes.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I didn't know it'd lead to this and I never intended for it to. Just that at that moment, I needed time and space. I managed to get the space I wanted, but seems like you misunderstood and put all the space in between us now.
I'm so, so, sorry.
I miss you so, so, much.